"Tweat Time"

Our time in DC was so short.  We wanted to see so many friends and we wanted to see so many things but when it came right down to it Shawn had to work.  So we spent our time there actually getting stuff done for our move to Manila.

However we were blessed enough to get together with one family, who we love dearly.  We were in Paraguay together and our kids were good friends.  The Pierces made their way to the hotel on Monday evening, we spent a few hours catching up and then grabbed some dinner before heading to the park to play.  The park is such a wonderful park, on Barton (for those DCers interested) and it kept the kids entertained for hours. 

Eli was constantly getting "lost" at the park.  I even went over and stood right by the play structure to make sure that he would not wander off and get lost with the oh so many people at the park.  But before I knew it he had disappeared. 

I surveyed the park and noticed the ice cream truck stopped in the road with a line around the block.  But if you know my child you know he has no patience; so I found him at the front of the line with his hands out.  Before I could get to him he was running toward me with a "tweat." 

Trying not to shake him for scaring me nearly to death I stomped over to the stroller and grabbed my wallet to pay the ice cream man for the sucker my son had clearly begged off of him.  I stuck my head in the window and said, "Hi, you gave my son a sucker, how much do I owe you?"  He smiled at me and said, "Oh, he gave me a quarter for it. 

Not only was I shocked that Eli had a quarter to give (although he has been keeping "treasures" in his pockets, apparently for this very purpose) but I was even more shocked that he knew what to do with it.  I guess living in a cash economy he has picked up a thing or two. 

So now I know I need to guard my spare change or my 4 year old will be buying suckers from every ice cream vendor he sees. 

How I will [NOT] Survive our UT

So back in May, my sweet "has been through it all" friend Jen posted a suggestion list of how to get through an unaccompanied tour.  You can find her May blog here.  However for convenience I'll list the suggestions:



1.  No regrets

2. Don't pull the Kabul card too often.

3. Don't read all the UT advice.

4. Don't do it all



1.  Relax

2.  Keep your eyes on the prize.

3.  Let your kids do more.

4.  Say No



In the last 48 hours I'm pretty sure I'm broken most of these rules. 



Since moving houses I have regretted staying at post every single day.  I do hope this will change but the less stress life I was supposed to return to has yet to arrive.  (That is not to say the stress level in the states would not be just as much or more so.) 



I pulled the Kabul card just today trying to get GSO to take care of me, and yet it did not do me any good.  I know that I don't get (nor do I want) special treatment because the hubby is in Kabul, but dammit I would like someone in GSO to recognize I'm doing this on my own and to cut me a little slack. 


Don't read UT advice, well I'm posting this so...


Maybe part of my problem is that I am breaking rule #4.  I have been trying to do it all on my own.  It finally took my hubby calling my sweet, sweet friend Vicki and asking for help before I realized I might have a complete meltdown before my hubby even reaches the one month mark.


Relax.  Well, that is not going to happen anytime soon.  New house, school, "repairing" old house with leaky roof, 3 kids, etc.  I can't even list it all without hyperventilating.


"The Prize" the bid list came out this week.  There are a few great spots on there, don't get me wrong, but there are not nearly enough for everyone in PSP to get what they want.  So at this point I'm praying and praying this will not be a totally wasted year.


I would love to let my kids do more.  But we have to wait until we are not living out of boxes any more.  If I ask them to put a single box away I will be looking for what is in that box the rest of the year.  PATIENCE!


And SAY NO!  This is the one thing I have been trying to do, and yet some people will not take no for an answer.

Other rules I have broken today, don't watch the news on Afghanistan, and don't count down.  Yes there are 342 days until this UT is over.  I hate to wish it away because I hope there are going to be so many good things about it.  But today, I would wish it away if I could.

So as we can all see I will probably NOT survive the UT.  I'm going to curl up tonight, right after I help the 4th grader finish homework, write a paper for my class due tomorrow, clean up dinner, and change the fuse in my car, and watch an episode of FRIENDS and go to sleep.  Maybe things will look better when I wake up...if I sleep until Friday. 

 

What?!? You are staying in Paraguay?

I have decided to blog about my experience deciding to safe haven at post while my husband goes on an Unaccompanied Tour because I think many people in my life, both here in Paraguay and back home think I am crazy for making the decision to say put while my husband leaves for Afghanistan.  And when asked about it I can lay out the pro's and con's list but still few understand. My crap, I don't understand!

When we first started talking about doing an unaccompanied tour there didn't seem to be a doubt that we would move back home.  That decision became even more obvious when my sister added two babies to our family the summer after we moved here.  Why would we stay in a place so far away from home?  But when the time came for us to bid and make the decision and I really sat down and weighed our options the choice didn't seem as clear as it once had.  I can give you the shpel about financially it makes sense for us to stay here.  I can tell you that moving is my least favorite thing to do.  I can explain that moving is super hard on my kids and although being away from family is equally as hard, introducing them into a new school environment for a single year seems like cruel and unusual punishment.  I can tell you of the 12 extra months we will be living here 3 of them will probably be spent stateside. But what it came right down to was no matter how I laid it out, staying always felt like the right thing to do.  I feel like I can be a better mother to my children here where our lives will not be chaos (I hope.) I have prayed, I have visited the temple, and I have filled out every "decision maker" the state department puts out to help you decide. 

But then some issues came up with the school this year and I threw in the towel.  I decided that it was too much work living here (and it is a lot of work) and I didn't know if it was doing more harm that good.  So again (as I have several times in the last six months) sat down, looked at houses for rent in the area I want the kids to go to school back home, looked at timelines, and started working on the logistics of getting us moved back to the states.  And again I was sick to my stomach, I couldn't sleep and it felt like the world was resting on my shoulders.  I prayed and felt the overwhelming sensation that we needed to stay put. 

Some of you may not believe in the power of prayer, but I believe that not only can prayers be answered but if you listen carefully enough you will hear answers you didn't even ask for. 

I think that some family/friends believe my motives may be selfish.  All I can say is that I love living in Paraguay; but not as much as I love and miss my family.  Right now this is what I feel is best for us, and as much as it pains me to be so far away from family, friends and Cafe Rio it is where we need to be. 

If you are faced with making the decision of staying put or going home while your spouse serves on an unaccompanied tour, I do not envy you.  This has been one of the hardest decisions of my life, probably because our decision was so unexpected for all of us.  I hope our family will see fit to forgive me, maybe squish in a visit, but at the very least make the most of the time we will spend at home over the next year.

Potty Training - Post 1

I named this post Potty Training - Post 1 because I have a feeling I will have several posts to share.  I remind you I blog for my family who misses us dearly so if you have no desire to read potty stories, please don't feel obligated.

So a few weeks ago I bought Eli a new potty.  He likes it well enough.  He would carry it all over the house if I would let him.  And with the older kids I did allow it.  But that was when I was in control.  Now we have a nanny, and I can't explain to her why it is alright for him to carry it all over the house now, but when he actually starts using it, it MUST stay in the bathroom.  So for Eli, the potty stays in the bathroom. 

Anyway, we aren't really potty training as of yet.  Just letting him get used to it.  He sits on it every morning and if I'm going to be in the bathroom for an extended period of time.  But he has not really shown enough interest for me to put my heart and soul into it yet.  But this morning we NEARLY had a break through.  While he was sitting on the potty he felt the urge to pee.  So he promptly stood up and peed on the floor in front of his potty. 

Well...at least now he knows was pee-pee is. 

Are my kids going to turn out alright?

So over the last few months Shawn and I have really been talking about what kind of people we want our children to be.  Some of this is spawned by wanting to help our children overcome some of our short comings and some is based on experiences we have had with people in our lives. 

I feel this need to create flexible yet strong, respectful, contributing members of society.  I did get a small glimps of Isaac's ability to do this the other day.  He went to play with a friend and at that friends house they are not allowed to use the word kill.  Now, we are not allowed to use that word toward other people but if it is one action figure saying it to another we over look that rule.  But once he was informed of this rule at his friend's house he and his little friend decided to use the term "knocked out."  He got home that night and insisted on going back over to tell his little friend that he had thought of a new word they could use... "defeated."  Yes, I know this seem small but I was so proud of my son for adjusting to the cards he was dealt and making the best of it. 

Another lesson I want to teach my children to be respectful of and value other people's time. I hope that by teaching them to find value in their own time that they can learn to appreciate the time others dedicate to helping them in all aspects of life. I do not want my children to be those people who take advantage of others with no thought of it. A person that thinks the world revolves around them, their life and their schedule and it can be changed on whim with no notice.


I want my children to be good decision makers.  I think all parents want this for their children but I think many are more successful at acheiving this than others.  If you are one of those parents that have children that are great decission makers please let me know.  I have watched those that I love make decissions that move them in a direction that I know they don't want to be going and wonder, can they not see the path in front of them?  How do I help my children open their eyes and see past the moment and into tomorrow?  How do I get them to focus beyond the inconvienience and see the reward.  Have you ever taken a picture and the point your camera chooses to focus on what is in the foreground but it blurs out the beauty of the background, the bigger picture, the reason you decided to take the picture in the first place?  I want my children to see the whole picture the beauty behind the blur. 

In sacrament meeting on Sunday a story was told relating the war in heaven to the raising children.  We need to let our children make choices and experience the consequences.  They should experience both failures and successes.  I hope that I will have the strength as I continue to raise my children to allow them to make their own decissions, so that their successes will be theirs and their failures will be their lesson to learn. 

I need my children to know that they get to write their own life story.  They can make their life look exactly like they dream.  Often times that dream requires more work than people are willing to put into it, but it can be done.  I need to find a way to teach them that the harder they work the "luckier" they will be.  Decide what you want in your life and make it a priority.

So I am begging you, if you have tips on how to do this please let me know.  I know I have really great kids and I don't want to fail them.  I hope to be able to teach them to take control and be who they want to be.