I pick up the phone and I can hear a lot of noise and my husband say to me, "I'm alright. I need you to say it back to me, I'm all right."
"You are alright."
Then it hits me...something is not right. Suddenly the noise in the background becomes all that I can hear. I hear people yelling, I hear panic. Then I hear my husband again... "We have been attacked, but I'm alright."
I immediately pick up my cell phone and start looking for news. I hear him say words like, "air support," "bomb," "communications down," and "troops," but all I can see are images of Bengazi in my head. And then like a bolt of lightening the fear of losing the most amazing man I have ever known, my life, shoots through my body. Tears begin to flow, and my own panic sets in, because I know that he is not the guy hunkered down in the safe room, behind the blast proof walls. He is the guy making sure everyone gets to those rooms, he is the guy helping with the guard force to make sure the embassy is not over run, he is the guy with the gun.
Our conversation lasted less than 4 minutes, just long enough for me to know that the shooting had stopped, the marines had arrived and he was alive.
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| After the attack on September 13th |
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| Before |
The next three hours I sat in front of my computer waiting for news sites to catch up on the news. I talked to my loving Mother who wished more than anything that she could be here to hold my hand (and I wished for the very same thing.) I read anything and everything I could about the bombing. Around 4 I finally went back to bed, but not before sending an email just to make sure that he was... still here.
The last 40 hours have been some of the hardest of my life. I have cried more than not; not only because I'm so worried about my husband, but because the reality of how dangerous his job is over there sunk in.
Telling my children and watching them go though the emotional roller coaster that I had been going through was heart breaking. I simply cannot imagine being 9 years old and trying to process that information. I remembered watching as my amazing brother-in-law who at 9 years old learned that his father was going to die, and I feel so much gratitude in my heart that I did not have to have that conversation with my son.
We are still continually praying for his safety and the safety for all of those in that part of the world. I am especially grateful for the military who were sent to guard the consulate while my husband works, who risk their lives to protect the lives of others. And I am grateful to the spouses and children of those military members for their sacrifice. I know that sacrifice; and I know it is often overlooked.
I ask that you please pray for the families of those who lost someone that day. I know they were not American but none-the-less they died in the service of our country. I will be forever grateful to those men who did their job with such honor and integrity.
And we continue to pray for the safe return of all of those serving to protect our great nation, no matter which corner of the earth they are doing it in.
