How a Small Embassy is Like High School

So my last few weeks at post have been very trying.  We were forced to move the same day we returned from R&R.  I guess forced might be a bit of an exaggeration.  They emailed me while I was on R&R and suggested that they move all of my stuff into the new house while I was gone.  I said that was NOT a good idea mostly because of my cat (who I put on valium when we fly for fear she will have a heart attack and die), but also because if something got lost or broken I would be totally unable to prove that the movers broke or took it because my maid has had access to my house the whole time I was gone; and really lets be honest who wants other people going through their personal stuff?  Would anyone else be alright with this?  Coming back from a 5 week R&R to a house full of boxes not knowing where anything was.  Hoping someone could put together the complicated computer system your husband had designed?  Not to mention, I have no hubby to help me through it all, we were starting the FIRST day of school the day we got back.  I just felt it was a bad idea. 

So I agreed to move THE VERY DAY I arrived back in country so that the government could have me out of my house by the end of the month.  I felt this was really nice of me because I am a planner.  I generally "pre-pack" before the movers arrive so that all of the contents of my drawers are not just thrown in boxes but are nicely bagged and easy to find.  I unhook all electronics and secure them to the electronic which they belong, and I move things around so that when we arrive to the new place vital things are found easily and knick-knacks will have a home when the last boxes are unpacked. 
Of course there was not time for any of that, so drawers were emptied into boxes, I still (3 weeks later) cannot find the cord to the Wii or movie player for the kids, and my computers are ... well functioning ... although not networked.

And through all of this it was the last 3 weeks of summer semester for me.  So I have completed 3 papers, and two finals in this week.  Completed paperwork for my kids, set up tutors, working on a preschool (required) project for children's day, arranged to have internet in my new house, and a mess of other things in the last few weeks. 

One thing I have realized in this horrible mess (other than I made a mistake moving and should have just stayed in a house with a leaky roof) is that some embassies feel like a high school, or at least this one does at times.  I'm sure this is true with any small community.  I have experienced similar experiences at church and in small towns, at work and even within a large family, but none-the-less it is true. 

First, you have the popular kids, of which I am not one, for many reasons, but mostly because I'm not as involved as I should be, and many of those people are just fake anyway.   There is the back stabbing witch that if you make her mad she will make you pay, even if that means making your kids pay.  There is the gossipy girl and/or the girl that will listen to all of your problems, that you get to comfortable with and it ends up biting you in the butt.  There is the jock, that smiles at everyone, is constantly making jokes and seems like he really wants to be your friend; but when push comes to shove, he won't lift one finger for you unless it is in his job description. Of course there is the jocks wife girlfriend, the cheerleader, that is really just too good for you.  Then there is the geeky debate boy.  This is the kid that did cross-x or Lincoln Douglas at debate tournaments (yes, I realize this makes you think that I was probably one of those kids too, but you would be wrong, I didn't Cross-x or LD in high school---but I was on the debate team.  But if you know me you know I will go toe to toe with almost anyone.)  He doesn't really think for himself, his sole purpose is to be "right according to the evidence" and be a complete asshole while doing it. Then there are the worker bees.  The people that keep their head down, don't get involved in the politics unless they have to and just do their job, and sometimes the job of others to help keep the embassy  high school functioning.  There are those people that will go out of their way to make sure everyone is taken care of even at their own expense.  And their are those people who are users; they are your "best friend" when they need your homework answers or a ride.

I guess I knew the whole high school dilemma before moving here.  In fact being a part of a small community was one thing I really wanted.  I still choose it.  I could have gone home and found a different "high school group" to be a part of, but I decided to stay and enjoy the family I have here.  I know it is not perfect and I will steer clear of some of these people, but I hope to also learn from my mistakes, sidestep the landmines, embrace the good, be a little more outgoing and keep moving on... once my house is unpacked. 

Did I mention my next semester starts on Thursday?

How I will [NOT] Survive our UT

So back in May, my sweet "has been through it all" friend Jen posted a suggestion list of how to get through an unaccompanied tour.  You can find her May blog here.  However for convenience I'll list the suggestions:



1.  No regrets

2. Don't pull the Kabul card too often.

3. Don't read all the UT advice.

4. Don't do it all



1.  Relax

2.  Keep your eyes on the prize.

3.  Let your kids do more.

4.  Say No



In the last 48 hours I'm pretty sure I'm broken most of these rules. 



Since moving houses I have regretted staying at post every single day.  I do hope this will change but the less stress life I was supposed to return to has yet to arrive.  (That is not to say the stress level in the states would not be just as much or more so.) 



I pulled the Kabul card just today trying to get GSO to take care of me, and yet it did not do me any good.  I know that I don't get (nor do I want) special treatment because the hubby is in Kabul, but dammit I would like someone in GSO to recognize I'm doing this on my own and to cut me a little slack. 


Don't read UT advice, well I'm posting this so...


Maybe part of my problem is that I am breaking rule #4.  I have been trying to do it all on my own.  It finally took my hubby calling my sweet, sweet friend Vicki and asking for help before I realized I might have a complete meltdown before my hubby even reaches the one month mark.


Relax.  Well, that is not going to happen anytime soon.  New house, school, "repairing" old house with leaky roof, 3 kids, etc.  I can't even list it all without hyperventilating.


"The Prize" the bid list came out this week.  There are a few great spots on there, don't get me wrong, but there are not nearly enough for everyone in PSP to get what they want.  So at this point I'm praying and praying this will not be a totally wasted year.


I would love to let my kids do more.  But we have to wait until we are not living out of boxes any more.  If I ask them to put a single box away I will be looking for what is in that box the rest of the year.  PATIENCE!


And SAY NO!  This is the one thing I have been trying to do, and yet some people will not take no for an answer.

Other rules I have broken today, don't watch the news on Afghanistan, and don't count down.  Yes there are 342 days until this UT is over.  I hate to wish it away because I hope there are going to be so many good things about it.  But today, I would wish it away if I could.

So as we can all see I will probably NOT survive the UT.  I'm going to curl up tonight, right after I help the 4th grader finish homework, write a paper for my class due tomorrow, clean up dinner, and change the fuse in my car, and watch an episode of FRIENDS and go to sleep.  Maybe things will look better when I wake up...if I sleep until Friday.